Q: Sooooo. You seem to like monkeys. How long have you been working as a creative?

A: 11 years, 6 months and 2 days.

Q: Precise answer. You must be a precise man. So precisely how many Steri Stumpies do you drink, on average, per week?

A: Half in my rice crispies, three quarters in a beer mug with lunch and a seventh in a port glass before bed. So that’s 9 and three quarters per week.

Q: That’s nice. Nice and precise. So tell us Patrick, when is your favourite occasion to drink a Steri Stumpie?

A: Right at the end of the rice crispies - with a spoon.

Q: You’re clearly a slurper then. Shllllrp. Whats your favourite flavour Steri Stumpie to shlurp with a spoon?

A: Banana obviously.

Q: Fair enough, stupid question from us. Do you find Steri Stumpies help you with your ideas?

A: Only to gauge funny ideas by the amount spraying out of my nose.

Q: Sounds reasonable. Nose spray has been an accurate gauge of creativity for centuries. You clearly like to keep it simple. What do you use as inspiration for you work?

A: Tremendous folk music.

Q: Oh ja! Nothing like a little folk to put the yellow in your yolk huh. Okay. Fine. All Good. Please give us a link to any awesome projects you’re working on right now, so people can see more of your radness.

A: www.thewesternnostril.co.za

>>> And there you have it, a glimpse into the mind of the Man behind Ham. And now for a glimpse of the man himself:

Superriffic.