Several people have now asked me what the new Steri Stumpie Flavournation thing is all about (thanks for taking an interest mum!). This should make it all clear I reckon:
“Honourable speaker, Chairperson of the National Council of Flavours, distinguished guests, comrades and friends and fellow Steri-lovers.
Today marks a momentous occasion in flavoured milk history. You, the people, have spoken of your passion and patriotism towards the flavours that we have elected into bottle, and we have heard those plaintive cries of love and support and are proud to announce that no longer will those cries go unacknowledged!
No longer will heated debates between die-hard Crème Soda enthusiasts and diplomatic Bubblegum supporters rage on, unheard, while Strawberry zealots sing ‘uStrawberry-wam, uStrawberry-wam!’ as they march fruitlessly in the streets!
For today the Flavournation is born – a weird and wonderful land filled with diversity and flavour where velociraptors roam free unhindered and giant octopi sip on Marshmallow Steri in the hazy sunshine!
Steri-lovers can now celebrate the different flavours that make up the Flavournation in the same way we do different races, cultures, languages, political parties, teams and groups in the country. It’s about many different tribes all living together as one, fiercely loyal to their own, yet tolerant of one another and their differences.
Now everyone will have the opportunity to show their love and support for their flavour of choice by sending any Steri-inspired photos, videos or stories to the Steri Stumpie blogsite where they will be rewarded for their efforts with all manner of Steriphernalia from bumper stickers to specialised Flavournation passports, rosettes, tattoos and T-shirts for each flavour.
Even bigger news are the customise-your-steri stickers being sent out over the next few months to passionate supporters of the Flavournation. With these sticker sheets, Steri-lovers will be able to customise their Steri bottles with stick-on eyes, mouths, noses, hats, funky hairstyles and ears.
Official Unoffocial Steri Ambassadors will now be rewarded with a plethora of treats including their very own marching band a teenage fan club and some other top secret rewards.
So don’t be surprised if you are driving to work one morning and pass by an energetic group of peaceful protesters waving Pro-Vanilla Custard banners or Vote Marshmallow signboards.
This is the Flavournation, a place for all of us!”
Text taken from the official Steri inauguration speech which took place today under a neon banyan tree full of sleeping cavemen.
